9/05/2024
Infinity Love Story
This immediate, presentable reality may be and can become a healing chamber for us within, by choosing love… we mesh and heal into wholeness, our true completeness. Each moment is a constant and consistent choice in our direction and energetic reach, a choice between choosing the path of heart/love center, or the path of fear/the illusion of separation. When seeking center, seeking a way to relax, fully practice and carry out, manifest our understandings… Love is always the answer. Love is always the correct response. Love is always the path, the place to rest back upon, the sun in all visions, the topic to meditate on, the root of gratitude and appreciation, and the way to enjoy life and share that pleasure with others.
It is that simple, and so that is the place to start and the place to end. Through awareness, watching and meditating, we process our catalyst and external stimuli through the lens of love. We find the correct external physical response from this place of whole complete love. Self love. Love within the self, to the self, by the self, for the self, which energetically pours outward like a beautiful kaleidoscope, to love all other selves, which is every other self we happen to meet, on the street, in the car, in the shop, in our phones… everywhere we look, there we are.
Love neutralizes. This is how you learn to love the thoughts which arise in our physical bodies from fear: You watch from a place of love. By not getting involved and feeding the fear with more fear, undesired energy passes through, having imparted its lesson, if there was one, for us to integrate, and move forward with, or simply acknowledge, and move on from. How do you watch from a place of love? You practice Patience - Faith - Gratitude - Trust. You relax by re-centering back into the seat of awareness itself, you breathe with gratitude, and you practice your own unique habitual actions which bring you strength. Each routine is a personal journey, but most routines involve similar roots in a loving community, sharing and giving, rest, simple food, clean air, and healing waters.
We need not fear death, for death is a fable, in the way described by science today. So if our physical bodies have grown old and it is time to move on, that is an exciting time for embracing what is next, which I promise will be exactly what you hope it will be, and then it will be much more, something far greater and more beautiful than you can imagine, something deeper than a pure warm soft orgasmic loving embrace, something to take comfort in, where the beings you have lost for this temporary short lifespan have returned to, and where they will greet you from when your tasks this lifetime are complete.
What are the tasks for you this lifetime? These are personal and unique only to you. These are your own decisive tasks through the beauty of Free Will which each of us have been graced with. You may have decided these tasks before you were born, you may change your mind and change your tasks during this lifetime. Each path is right and each path is to be appreciated. There is nothing to fear, there is really nothing at all to fear, ever… Fear is used as a catalyst, a token of polarity for us to learn and grow and change from, but there is nothing to fear, not even fear itself. Appreciate fear for it’s catalyst opportunity to become more of which you choose to be more of. Appreciate the discomfort for allowing you to understand more of what comfort is.
We have intuition. From intuition is the perfect place to act. From our internal energetic intuitive feelings, we can weigh our external surroundings and choices, and make the lighter choice. For literally, our intuition will display to us what is light and loving, and what is dark and heavier. We can choose the lighter choice, the path of light, and then rejoice in joy itself through the lightness of our actions and free willed choices. In this clunky physical plane, which we manifest from a spiritual plane, nothing is quite perfect - we will make mistakes as we strengthen our bond to our intuition, but by simply paying attention to our intuition and honoring our own insight, we shall evolve ever so higher in our quests to be more of that which we desire to be more of.
Embrace the thoughts which bring you serenity and loving energy. Focus on your desired thoughts with your magnificent Free Will.
To love in each moment: ♡ ♡ Unconditional Love ♡ ♡
I am you & you are me, always & forever
8/12/2024
Soul Strands
{ golden bright sunshine }
A soul spiriting in pastel shades, Nature flowing through Streams and trees.
The crack of dry wood underfoot. The whistle of bird wings, fluttering.
Berries ripe for Picking. Sweet, sweet air, sunshine infused.
Daisy Flowers, Jasmine & Clover
A Dusty Rock on Which to Sit
Here We Give Thanks.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
{ never ending gratitude }
Heart-warmth, Light-flow
Uprising Love Song
Learning to Be Still
Appreciation & Calm
How may I serve?
My Self & Other Selves
How may I uplift?
8/5/2024
Giving & Gratitude
Giving thanks. The link between Giving and Gratitude.
Pleasure is found in giving. In thanksgiving, we give our gratitude and our love, outwards. Without need or want of return, gratitude inspires us to give for the pleasure of giving, and for the love found and built upon itself by simply loving. I am reflecting on how in our physical and spirit realm polarities of love and fear - how important our free will focus is, as to choose a life of love, positive direction, healing to our selves and to our other selves. It begins, and it ends, in gratitude. From gratitude, there is an automatic outpouring of our energy, as our energy is real and constant and felt by others. When we focus, meditate, and follow thoughts which are laced in gratitude, we build inside ourselves a soft, comforting calm. Gratitude is a place of rest.
It is almost paradoxical, that the correct (path of least suffering) response when wanting, is to give. Give away that which you thought you wanted to receive. Give it away fearlessly. Love fearlessly, without focusing on the fear-based thoughts of what is thought to be wanted. What is in lack. This is the perfect place to plant the seed of gratitude: in thanksgiving for the experience. As to live in gratitude for all experiences, the light and the dark, the emotion or thought of want or need: grateful to experience. To learn and to grow. To learn the ways of love. ♡ ♡ ♡
7/29/2024
Faith
Faith is of utmost importance to our personal wellbeing, to our soul growth, to living in true love.
I was born with a strong personal faith. I recall this vividly. Faith that everything was going to always work out. I was cared for, love was the strongest thing imaginable and possible. Faith that even if I died I would not really die. I existed before.
I do not ruminate with the past much, but in the topic of faith, it is worth considering. My earliest memory is of seeing my great grandma at age 1, we had driven a full day to visit her right before she passed on. I recall being put into the car seat for the drive, my mom in a rush. I recall seeing my great grandma in her bed, and I recall the love radiating from her. It would be the only time I would meet her. All was well, faith was strong and powerful within me.
My 5th birthday was celebrated in a grove of old growth redwood trees. I recall playing with pastel wooden toys underneath the canopy of redwoods. I was happy and at peace. The forested summer air smelled like heaven itself. At this age of 5, I began public schooling. School was the opposite of the woods: it felt like a smothering cage, with rules which did not make logistical sense to me. I learned and memorized many things, without understanding why I needed to do so - without understanding the real world applications. School seemed to be about teaching obedience, without just cause or reason. Internally, my free will rebelled. Outside, I was shy.
I was raised Catholic. Our church always felt very cold, with a large expansive ceiling, beautiful stained glass, and hard pews. The way Catholicism was taught did not resonate within me. For me personally, the teachings felt focused on guilt, shame, confessions, and doing penance in the form of repetitive praying. I knew some friends who were Christian, and they seemed more joyful. They also didn’t need to wake up early every Sunday to go to the cold building for an hour. This form of organized, institutionalized religion chipped away at my personal relationship with faith. Church felt oppressive, the opposite of freedom.
Somewhere between the ages of 5 and 12, my faith had weakened. On top of my personal issues with school and church, my family life had become disordered - my parents did not get along, and one of my older brothers would often be a vessel for chaotic evil. I did maintain a very loving personal relationship with both my mother and father, for which I am very grateful. Yet by the time I was a teenager, after years of social programming specifically from school, I questioned my own faith more and more. With time, fear became a strong force within.
{ I believe there is a strong need for churches within society, as a place for community to gather, celebrate, worship, and help each other. It is deeply unfortunate that many of the modern religious institutions have been infiltrated by dark forces. Just as with government, the intent seems to be to control and program the populous, as to bend them to the whims of those in charge, those who crave power and control. This is a tale as old as time, and a story I find repeatedly in the Bible. }
To condense this story of my past, I will jump forward to 2016. I had a couple very strong catalysts that year. A positive breakthrough occurred when I found a true energy healer (in the form of a sport chiropractor) who helped me let go of trauma that I was physically carrying inside my body. With the letting go of this trauma, I began to feel love and optimism again, in ways I hadn’t in a very long time. I began to read books on spirituality. One in particular stuck out, about tranquil insight meditation. This lead to me visualizing positive, loving symbols, objects and scenes mentally - when fearful thoughts would arise (such as on a airplane), I would focus my energy on these symbols, and not feed the fearful energy. I began to rebuild my seat of self: the place of calm inside myself, the part of me that would stay calm and at peace, regardless of external events. I began to realize I was not my thoughts, I was something else (a soul). Thus my thoughts need not control my actions. Thus maybe I could dream a bit bigger, I did not need to be controlled by fear.
Our journeys are often two steps forward and one step back. I did not regain my faith in 2016. I did begin my journey to eventually rediscover true, deep, powerful, intense, loving Faith (I plan to write about how this happened in the future). To have regained my faith in this lifetime is gift I will forever be in gratitude of. This does not end the onslaught of catalysts or issues, nor does this mean I can’t lose my faith again. I almost did, in fact. So my story today is also one of caution: the need to focus on ones personal faith as a treasure, and to hone and respect it, to honor it’s truth, to draw back into it’s light and give thanks for it’s strengthening love.
For me, my church is now found in nature, outside of human structures. Nature in all its beauty and destruction, its light and dark, cold and hot, wet and dry, chaos and order — nature is indeed our world here, our earth realm, the setting for the lessons to strengthen our faith and will, and chisel at the facets of our soul.
To celebrate the beauty of nature, it’s flowers and sweet scents, the waves on ocean shores, the birds with their song… to give witness to the destruction and death, and to have gratitude for this dream within a dream within a dream, where the players will all survive and heal, in the end, which is never a true end. Love can get incredibly distorted here on earth - yet all knots will eventually untangle, reform, regenerate into new paths.
For me, Faith starts with the fundamental belief that we are more than this one physical body, having a lifetime - we are more than this physical form. We existed before, and we will exist after. We are fundamentally built from love. Love and light are the most powerful forces in the universe. We will all be taken care of. All wounds will heal, all destruction will be righted, and all chaos will be put back into order, with enough time and space. Faith allows for the kindest of actions to ourselves and others. Faith helps us make actions from a place of love, not fear. True faith can break the façade of materialistic pursuits, and aligns ones focus to our individual deeper purposes.
To live a life with faith is to have a very powerful force within you. For me, the positive path forward is always one in alignment with faith, patience, gratitude, and trust. ♡ ♡ ♡
7/21/2024
Order (Godly) vs Chaos (demonic)
Earth is a spiritual plane. The natural order of earth is Godly. And so, chaos is demonic. God is love, nature, kindness, laughter. God is found in cherishing (Love). Satan is the opposite polarity - this incudes drugs, violence, chaotic destruction (fear).
How can I do more than react to what is before me: how can I build something loving, kind, sustainable, useful, giving? This is my challenge.
Much of modern society promotes chaos. There are those who carry their light into the darkness, and that is my attempt. I find for me now, living in health is the foundation for any future action. A simplistic, healthy, sustainable physical lifestyle is the ultimate ideal. Practicing naturally healthy habits in mind/body/spirit.
What is often sold as liberating and freeing, is often at root unnatural, unhealthy, spirit-from-body separating. The party/festival lifestyle of “living ones best self” is in reality simply intoxicating drug dens and suffering behaviors. Psychedelics have been promoted as being medicinal, and I do feel this is true (in rare instances), only when used with this intention, to heal and understand and forward progress. There is much abuse of all drugs, including psychedelics. Yet certainly, living through a period of darkness can make us stronger when we come out the other side. I am very thankful to be approaching 2 years of almost complete abstinence from any intoxicants, and to have lived a life free of drugs from the pharmaceutical for-profit industry.
A popular modern day use of drugs seems to be to gain disassociation. I find drug induced disassociation to be potentially demonic (the world feels applicable) as it can separate ones body from their soul. I find a very important difference and distinction between mindful disassociation from ones mental clutter, chatter and thoughts, as to rest in the seat of self and soul, and drug induced disassociation, which allows your body to be a vessel for all sorts of external energetic influences (both light and dark).
A healthy ideal is to live with love, kindness, and openness for what is before us, and yet very self disciplined in action: A simple health-from-nature diet, a grateful routine, clean water, exercise, and enough income to practice these healthy habits.
I understand directives to love all that which is, accept all that which is, and I believe in this ideal… while knowing that here on earth, the devil metaphor is real energy, and submitting haphazard to all beings and all things with love can sometimes just be enabling that energy to grow.
“Inner work” is always of importance, to let go of the past as to allow the love to flow. I see the ideal path to be one of concrete external bodily action, which is a reflection of our inner spirit. To truly live each moment aligned with our morals, ethics and compass of love. To react to what is before us, not looking for spiritual signs or any illusive hidden meaning: but instead to simply see what is right before us, and react accordingly, keeping our faith, staying present, in clarity, and ready to endure the hardships which are a natural part of life on earth.
Riding the wave of life - we don’t have control of the wave, but we control how we surf the wave. ♡
6/07/2024
Don’t Fear the Heart Slays
Life on earth will provide us with unexpected gifts, as well as provide us with unexpected pain. Staying in gratitude for all experiences, re-centering into our self awareness, with our own form of non-resistance, and our physical habits which provide us with calm and health, seems key to healing through our struggles, to growing through our catalysts, and in becoming stronger in our individual self evolution. Gratitude.
Feeling heart pain or heart break is something to appreciate, in the end, for it will leave us with many new understandings, and is a reflection from when unblocked currents of love were once in full reign. The path of heart break can lead to one of deep self love, if you stay open during the experience. If you become fearful of the feelings of pain, you may become blocked/closed even more still.
When your heart is full of your own appreciation, gratitude and acceptance, it is not a long-term resting place for pain and sorrow. A practice of non-resistance towards emotions as they arise, will help to move beyond the intense pain, the heart slays.
Without the dark we cannot fully appreciate the light. There are many sayings such as this that I feel true, and yet when given a strong catalyst, a painful loss, I will still get thrust off-center, always a player, with lessons to learn.
In the ebbs and flows of life, in the stormy raging seas of which we do our best to navigate… be sure to rest, be sure to practice habits which bring you health, joy and internal strength. I am in gratitude, not just in appreciation of the gifts and tribulations of life as spoken above - but for my present. Moving into a stronger peace with my true self, closer to not needing external stimuli, recognizing distraction for what it is…
We are fortunate to have the ability to engage, grow, learn, change… to allow ourselves forgiveness and healing… and to let go of patterns which do not serve us.
As always, I remain a faulty work in progress… Moving steadily forward after a couple steps back… I remain in free will. ♡♥♡
6/07/2024
Relationships
The metaphor of a human relationship can be applied to almost all habits or behaviors. It is a part of human nature to encounter reliance on external stimuli to make our internal selves feel a certain way. We are in relationship to all of our experiences - as our experiences are personal, seen through our individual lenses. We learn most through our relationships to our external world.
With all types of our habits, we can focus on the relationship between our self and the substance, behavior, or object. We need not demonize the external stimuli (in the cases of food addiction, that would be even more problematic). The external stimuli has it’s role, and it is up to us to review our personal relationship to the experience. Relationships are constantly changing and evolving, and most have a start and end. This could be due to all beings and matter being in a constant flux of change. Nothing is static, and so we should always allow room for change, to allow others to grow, to allow our own selves to grow.
In our relationships to substances: if we are to demonize the substance itself, we are then viewing it through a lens of fear. In AA, one of the first steps is declaring oneself powerless over alcohol, and to think only a higher power can help you in your relationship with the substance. In those who view their relationship this way, they seem to stay in a fairly consistent state of fear, very much focused on this substance, even once the relationship has apparently ended. I could compare this to seeing a therapist for years after breaking up with someone, in fear you would get back together with them, even though they harmed you greatly. It sounds miserable. For me, I see the ideal clearly to be to fully let go of the person (or substance). I understand this view can be controversial, as substance abuse is deadly, and all things which can help it must be respected. Yet I feel it is a very important point to be made. If you do not directly confront the behavior or relationship head on, you are likely to not fully let go of it and move on.
An ideal framework to confronting relationships which no longer serve us, is a path towards solidifying inside us, as we do in human relationships, understandings such as “this relationship is toxic, it is harming me and others, it is holding me back, it is creating suffering”, etc. The rules which apply in our human relationship scenarios can also apply to non-human relationships. In most cases, fully letting go of the person/object/stimuli is the easiest way to move forward in your life. If you keep trying to get back together with a toxic ex, there is only havoc waiting. If you think that ex is still something you want, you are living in delusion. That’s not a healthy relationship anymore - maybe it once was. You learned and grew things during the healthy stage of the relationship (if there was one). At some point, the energy shifted, the energy changed and the relationship is now holding you back, it is now hurting you. So you have to break up.
There needs to be a mourning/healing/recovering period, but on the other side, life is vastly improved. You don’t resist the mourning, you feel it. You do not distract yourself from the trauma, as that will only carry the trauma forward with you. The mourning is temporary. If you have personal faith, this provides you the knowledge that you will make it through all. Your personal relationship with your faith is possibly the most important relationship of all.
You have great capacity for healing, far more than what you may have been told.
5/20/2024
All is an illusion? // Heart ache; heart-break; heart-slay… to question ones own senses, to make sense out of nonsense, to fear the fear and love the love. I wonder, through the Ra law of one lens, if for some pre-determined yet unknown to me now reason, I decided to incarnate specifically with traversing this life solo, without a life partner (for most of my adult life has been thus). I have this deep rooted, natural sense of desire for romantic love. I wonder, through this desire, am I seeking something that is not real? It is not real, yet, it is un-made, uncreated, as of yet, it is not real. So thus when I start to feel this certain way, this possibility, when someone starts to create this reality with me, through each of our own lenses… what is real, and what is not?
We often speak of (romantic) love as a higher state which requires a certain amount of time/space to pass before it is allowed to be considered real. Yet while we can fall in love with an idea of someone, and see them through rose tinted lenses, is it not still very much real to yourself? Regardless of the object of affection, love is love and when felt, is real. Is it not?
Despite often feeling otherwise, I have said that love is the only thing that is real, and that fear is an illusion. Yet what if love is also an illusion, felt energetically through our own creation… so thus All is an Illusion. And so when one finds themselves in a romantic partnership where both open each other up, as to be open to allow the love to flow… if it is an illusion, this makes nothing less and nothing more. As spoken by Michael Singer - the love is always there, and when you feel IN love with someone else, they are simply opening your blockages and allowing that love to flow and be felt.
So we should be able to do this solo. Alone, and yet. Physical touch, so healing to me. I cannot yet wrap my understanding around all of my catalysts, with time/space I hope to. Being a human being in this day, with awareness to not get caught in certain traps, yet the freedom through imperfection to get caught in others.. it is not for the weak. And so thus. I wish upon any soul that is here now and reading this, to know you are not alone, we are not alone… we are all connected, all part of one gigantic single cell. You are me and I am you and I love you, and I wish to never forget, but it is impossible to not forget on earth: I have already forgotten.
5/06/2024
Life can change so within a short period of time. Catalysts. Along with heavenly gifts, we will be given challenges. Change is the constant on earth, and love is the thread which holds us together. I am feeling blessed to find myself underneath a rainbow, in a pot of metaphysical gold, charmed yet still, very much so, tied down by earths constructs.
Love helps to flatten and de-energize fear. Programmed patterns can be consciously changed. Previous notions need not be future truths. Here and now is where best to do our inner work. I seek to choose love, to give love. I seek the light.
I wish upon all of us laughter that flows freely. That we express, create, wake up energized, and fall asleep grateful. That we are gifted as to smile by default, and uplift everyone around us. ♡
This is a moment of intense sunlight. I went solo to the desert...
4/07/2024
A collection of ideas to contemplate ♡ Breathing (relaxed, deep, slower) solves a lot of potential problems, as does flowing in good posture. Both excellent breathing and posture build within a positive feedback loop of loving energy, letting go of fears and trusting in Love to embody you ♡ …which leads to the importance of letting go of our fears as a constant practice, forgiving our selves and other selves, and letting go (of the trappings and confines of) our mistakes, of our labeling, and even of our strict internal judgements of right and wrong - this is not a realm of knowing! ♡ If something is not working for us, we need to create change… Find insights gained from a different angle, possibly from time/space separation, and rest ♡ This love makes me feel free… ♡
4/01/2024
Non-resistance
♡ At times, in my human experience, I watch and allow emotions to be felt deeply and wholly, of which I would not choose, of which I do not wish to cultivate / act upon / give further energy. { To do otherwise, may be to allow them to fester inside/create a long term blockage, or to “push” them away may allow them to gather strength } There may be a tiny seed, a tiny moment before the emotions are felt where I choose to allow them to encompass me - and in that small instance, I am not for certain if the choice to allow them to be felt is the most loving, but it is my attempt to not bury my truth, to not hide from the darkness. Are not all catalysts, including emotional, there to teach us through the imperfect nature of existence?
By allowing my dark emotions to be felt, they will then leave, almost always within a very short period. I can then, refreshed yet drained, return to my positive focus, return to the polarizing choice, of which is to embody love/light in each moment. In those darker moments, I have felt that I may be a sham, for some emotions are simply so self-critical - how am I then, in those moments, practicing Love as Light …. ? Part of being involves practicing, which could be considered more a sham than a fully encompassing reality, especially in beginnings and endings.
I am here to learn, to see and to feel, on earth realm, the catalysts. To allow myself to feel the effects of the catalysts… and then reinforce the choice of Love by bouncing back (quickly, always so quick - a moment, an hour, a nap) into this… Love is stronger then fear. I breathe, deeply and slowly and with gratitude. I pause, I stop, I relax into this moment, I watch, I learn, I understand the darkness of which is inside me, I accept the shadows, and I choose to move forward, and act upon, and make each conscious step towards that which is more loving, less fearful. Fake it till you make it; invoke the change, find it, cultivate it, grow it. What is worth it is not often easy. In this the inner-work realm, being honest with our selves and allowing the flow of life and nature to co-exist with our free will and focus… there is an art to that, there is an art to simply living.
3/10/2024
Patience {faith, gratitude, trust}
Patience, Faith, Gratitude, Trust <♡—- In practicing faith, gratitude and trust, patience is an important key. Without one in balance, the others are likely to be affected. I have been feeling reminders of how important patience is on the path of creating, learning, changing, and evolving. Without patience, your faith (& will) has a much harder task to stay focused and positive for the long term.
Perhaps one of the way meditations, or quick mental resets back into the present moment, are useful is in slowing down, relaxing, and having patience. If we are not actively lost in the contents of our mind or in a desire, patience may come naturally. Patience can create room for compassion towards that which is now… Very importantly, patience can allow for us to take the time to reflect, meditate on what is, and find the correct path forward. As when indecisive, often the best action is no action, but to wait for when the decision is apparent. If we aren’t patient, we may act regardless.
We are all on unique and individual paths - some of us do not lack patience, but for me, it is something to be conscious of. I can feel the further away I get from patience, the more out of balance I become. I can get so focused on an objective or goal that I am hyper-focused. The constant desire to be better, to succeed in goals, can lead to frustrations when I make mistakes - which is, of course, part of the human experience. Frustration is a rather dark emotion, and while I know to appreciate the dark as well as the light, it is not a very helpful emotion. When it is felt, getting to the root of why it is felt, can be beneficial. I think often frustration is found in impatience - which can be traced all the way back to fear of some sort - as each moment contains a choice between love and fear…
Patience is a part of having faith that what is meant for us will come to us. When we are doing our best to learn from our past, and to stay present while doing the work for our future (for our ‘now’) - we should also relax into the present moment, making sure to breathe freely without tension, and appreciate this moment for what it is.
A reminder to be consistent in practicing the personal habits which bring you joy & lead to health for your mind / body / spirit complex. ♡
3/01/2024
Love is Everywhere & so is…
And thus so is the antithesis of love, at least the potential for it. It is not ignoring the dark to strive towards embodying love/light. Letting go of the dark inside us creates a world that is improved for our selves & other selves. We can recognize that which is, as we work in a consistent movement of will towards light. The dark can be so dark. The light can be so strong and blinding. We have these words “light” and “dark”, yet they do not fully encompass the absolute nature of either. Sometimes I see myself as a creature struggling towards the love/light, with fierce determination to embody it, hold it, become more worthy of shining in its rays, more agile to play in it. Yet I know love is everywhere, underneath. The conscious choice to seek love in each moment does build upon itself, as to create a sturdy foundation to return to and grow from. With rest and silence, or with the movement of energy, or with simple repetition and habit… we grow and evolve through our focus/will. In learning the ways of love, there is, my lofty goal of transmuting dark into light. &♡. I intend that in this present moment, you are able to feel the joy in letting go and the beauty of now, and feel the love that you are made from and of. Today, in your own unique way, the joy that sparks from some physical manifestation is felt fully, deeply and with laughter.
2/20/2024
Focusing on Will & Faith
There is an interesting connection in the Ra transcripts regarding free will and faith. Ra most often referred to faith while also referring to will (“will and faith”). I know faith to be of high importance to our personal growth and evolution… (“The faculty of faith or will needs to be understood, nourished, and developed in order to have an entity which seeks past the boundary of third density.” - Ra, 82.29 & “The aspect of faith, the walking into space without regard for what is to come next” - Ra, 67.30). Yet when contemplating how will is deeply connected with faith, I find a new understanding of the connectivity of all, of All Being One.
So often in religion, there is a created separation in that faith is held in something apart from ones self. It is not necessarily so much a faith in ones self, as it is a faith in God (and as so often occurs in religion, a faith is cultivated in a form of external worship, with the idea of an external higher force aligning to save us here on earth or after earth through our devotion). When faith is more closely aligned with our personal free will, faith may allow us to evolve and become a more conscious participant, with personal responsibility, as opposed to (always) being at the mercy of catalyst (& “Without catalyst the desire to evolve and the faith in the process do not normally manifest and thus evolution occurs not”-Ra, 54.24).
Without faith in our selves as beings more than this short lived human body complex, we are less likely to consciously work to evolve our selves into the change we wish to see/manifest. Faith may be more about trusting our selves (and yes, higher self, but our SELF here/now first and foremost - as we see with embodying love, one must love thyself!) —♡— Consider the truth of All One. This means you are all that is. This means Co-Creator.
The connection between will and faith points to the importance of recognizing there is no true separation (the illusion of separation leads to fear). Faith is not about giving away your personal power, focus, awareness, attention, etc., it is instead (for me, today) about respecting, trusting in the process of self evolution, learning the ways of love, of inclusion, and of recognizing the creator in all, include ourselves. Thus faith and will allows for intentional creation, as opposed to more randomly sourced creation. (Possibly? This is not a dimension of understanding, after all…)
A reminder to be mindful with consciousness (“There is but one technique for growing or nurturing of will and faith, and that is the focusing of the attention.” - Ra, 42.12) .
—♡—♡—♡—♡—
Embodying love and cultivating our individual faith with free will can feel like climbing a mountain here on earth (and if we are purposefully polarizing positive, we can hypothesize the mountain is made of love), each step of willful choice and focus taking us higher upwards. The elements could be quite windy, the air colder and more thin, yet this mountain of love, allows us to relax despite these elements, and we can appreciate the elemental catalysts for allowing us to grow and evolve.
2/18/2024
Love is the way
A reminder to love. With ourselves, first and foremost, a reminder to practice self love through concrete actions and daily choices. A reminder to our selves to seek awareness of the deepest roots of our behaviors, choices and emotions, and through contemplation and acceptance, find clarity around steps towards more loving (healthy) choices. There are tangible, daily steps that we can choose to take, and cultivate as habits, to move forward in our universal seeking of love and understanding. Sometimes the apparent nature of these steps is not so apparent: especially when you have conflicting thoughts around actions, thoughts based from both love and fear.
It can feel risky to take actions which require a LOT of faith in not just your self, but something beyond your self (yet all is the self, in it’s way). Notice how tricky fear is, how it can manifest in doubt and heaviness, how it can put the breaks on our actions and take the spark from our drive. Love, on the other hand, can propel us into risky territory. As love is a direct connection with our individual and universal heart and soul, that risk feels necessary. Especially in our work and in our relationships: risk is worth it. To truly live (propelled by love) risk seems is a necessary component: yet through cultivating our faith, that risk is mitigated substantially.
Sometimes our choices are more straight forward selections between short term fun and long term gain. I can see love in both paths, and perhaps a balance of both is the ideal. Balance is one of this life’s challenges for me, as so often, I’m either all-in, or all-out. The pendulum swinging is a metaphor I see useful in not just my personal life, but society as a whole.
Through self love we may cultivate wholeness and completeness within, so that the outside word does not need to conform, or overly provide, for use to feel positively oriented and open to love. It is massively easier to exist in the outside world, and to be loving in all outside relationships, when we have cultivated our inner world intentionally- as each moment contains a choice between love and fear, strengthening our skill at intentionally choosing love is a very powerful way to grow and evolve.
2/7/2024
The Sun Beams Light Made From Love
“In this (sixth) density some entities whose means of reproduction is fusion may choose to perform this portion of experience as part of the beingness of the sun body. Thus you may think of portions of the light that you receive as offspring of the generative expression of sixth-density love.” - Ra, 41.5
Sixth density is the density of unity, in which love and wisdom are blended together.
Ra is sixth-density - Ra was considered the God of the Sun in Egyptian times.
2/3/2024 💜… Desire …Desire=Suffering ?
There are ways to keep desire healthy, motivational, understood and in-check. Un-checked desire leads to suffering. Checking a desire can be practiced by observing a desire/thought for what it is, as opposed to getting lost in the desire/thought. By getting lost, I refer to allowing your mind to follow the thought so far that your entire personal will has left your physical senses and is now focused on this thought, and then your creative mind creates this fantasy-idea of what you think you need for happiness and fulfillment (to achieve the desire which you may think you now need to achieve to feel happiness). This happens often by “the bar being raised” once a goal is achieved - then something new comes in to takes it’s place of what we think we need to be happy - this is sort of hard wired into the human psyche; if we don’t do inner “work” along with our outer work, it is easy to fall into certain restrictive traps such as this.
For me the simplest way to not get lost in a desire is by observing the space between myself and the desire, and then observing the present moment and finding love - energy - within it. A sort of re-centering.
I find even focusing on a desire by strategizing how to get it can be borderline problematic. Yet there is definitely a time/space for strategy towards all our goals/desires, and a need to stay open towards all that can help us achieve them. So a goal in dealing with desire strategies in a healthy way, would be to stay mindful that always the present moment is the most important moment to be here now in appreciation for what is now, and be mindful of what we already have achieved and what we are inside (soul level). If a goal/desire is making you feel FOMO in any way, and you’re focusing on the desire so much that you feel internal unhappiness, the desire is likely un-checked.
If the desire is work (of all kinds) related, well, we do get lost in our work. This is healthy. Creation gets lost in creation. Work is a present moment immersion into creation, not a internal fantasy of what we think we want.
Gratitude for what we have now, is a potent anti-thesis to suffering, thus, to un-checked desire. I don’t NEED any desire-fulfillment to find love in each moment. I can stay open to possibilities, and see if it makes sense, and either way…..
Life presents us with gifts and opportunities. It is our duty and responsibility to take these gifts, accept them, and appreciate them.
The gifts and opportunities life provides for us, are often overlooked, ignored, cast aside due to some internal mental block, or not given enough gratitude. So part of relaxing into this present moment and finding the love therein… for me involves being mindful of gratitude and desire, as well as staying open when it makes sense, which is most of the time.
If our desires are causing us to do things which this moment are unpleasant, we should be mindful of that, what is at the fundamental root of the desire? If our desires are causing us to behave for short term gratification over long term well being, are we practicing self-harm? Suffering for our desires is not always the best path ;)
1/13/2024: Resist. Or, don’t resist, relax… So accept everything? If you resist, aren’t you fighting yourself - aren’t we all one?
The topic of resistance is a nuanced one, as it is connected to many complex ways we live our life, internally and externally. Michael Singer (who I love!) wrote in Living Untethered and Untethered Soul about his base message: Relax, don’t resist. This is important to understand, when it comes to relaxing internally around feelings, emotions, and the thoughts that pass through us. Through relaxing we can allow thoughts and emotions to exist and depart without clinging to them, or burying them inside by resisting them (thus keeping traumas around longer).
So, do we also attempt to relax around the seemingly endless catalysts we experience on earth? (Yes.) And what about our goals, passions, desires, and what we think we want… do we cling to what we think we want, or relax in the present moment? Michael Singer will point out here: how do you know what you think you want? All you have to go on is your past experiences. Your past experiences are just a collection of the tiniest bit of data input, through your very small lens, in comparison to the infinite size of the universe…
Perhaps living in a state of non-resistance involves a bit of a balancing act, internal discernment, and mainly: Trust. Faith, in your connectivity to something much larger than your small perspective and sensory data. Faith that through that connectivity to something beyond your physical human lens, you are guided into the best possible personal scenarios if you lead with an open heart, love, and non-resistance. (And through this mind state, we can frame catalysts as helping us learn/grow, even if they are difficult, they are leading us somewhere golden…)
However, surely… we cannot always live our life in a state of non-resistance. There are too many dark / light temptations to navigate: we need to be careful of what type of food we eat, what type of media we allow ourselves to be exposed to, injustices we perceive, what pleasures we allow… so we have surface level resistance and deeper level resistance. Self-awareness can come into fruition here: through being mindful of when we are resisting, we can see the source of resistance - is this habitual resistance born of past programming or fear of the outcome? Is this resistance not wanting to deal with what the universe has put squarely in front of you to deal with? Is this resistance turning you into a grumpy frowny tense person?
Often, we can stop resisting what is in front of us mentally and physically, through self-awareness. We can remind ourselves to relax, have faith (however that manifests for us personally), and to always lead with and choose love whenever possible.
Whatever our life intentions or goals are (as they change) - intentions are important. Working each day with our free-will to live our intentions to the best of our abilities, sharpening and strengthening our self through the endless catalysts life will throw at us… this feels like a good path. So enters the art of balancing intention with resistance, or relaxing. So I am thinking this morning, on balancing resistance with intuition, discernment & self-awareness. Resistance does come at a price, so realizing if we are resisting something, I would like to make sure it is from a place of love. A reminder to be patient and not rush. To have the goal of moving with intention on a larger scale yet with the least possible resistance on the minor scale. And a goal to not ever let go of faith: internally hold the faith. Hone self-awareness, as the watcher taking outside events less personal, not getting lost in thought-forms, steady on with our personal intentions, relaxing into the here & now...
And a paradox, a need to love the hate which exists on earth, through the love in the veins of earth. Love which streams up and through in rays. To celebrate and appreciate. The need to know YOU are whole and complete, you are beautiful, you are every thing, you are the light and you are the dark and you, I love…
1/1/2024: Assimilating 2023. So grateful for my growth, yet feeling conflicted emotions at the same time: leftover tangles of frustration and memories of hardness, perhaps. A feeling of how far I have come yet how far still I desire to go. I feel accomplished in breathing into the Now with acceptance and appreciation. Part of life is dark and must be walked through, understood, accepted. I attempt to walk through darkness focusing on my strong self-will to radiate love. I also seek understanding. Sometimes surroundings are a shock to my senses: it feels almost incomprehensible: through our struggle to survive, and how trauma fuels more trauma, how homelessness exists in a modern, massive, drug fueled scale in our cities.. When sickness is cultivated for profit, and when there are strong powers which seem to feed upon the masses embodying fear, I see such disturbing realities of suffering. It creates a personal internal conflict and need to re-center, of which I have to watch and allow, when, as in SF last night, I drove through streets with zombie-like drug cocktail users, frozen into the most odd positions of suffering, yet on my way to go dance loving energy into vibes which also obviously contained drug fueled highs and lows…
Each day we awake into an earth full of polarity. And so today, on New Years Day, I get to go hike and breathe nature. I will ground into the wild, free earth energy. *** The ionic salt filled sea air is absolutely amazing at resetting your energy, letting go of stale stuck energy and breathing into your self pure life!
12/29/2023: Visualization Meditation ♡ Meditating on a symbol, or an entire scene that we can immerse ourselves in mentally. When I was a little girl I remember being very attracted to drawings of trees which had hearts in them. Hearts carved into the tree bark, pink hearts in the trees, hearts hidden in the drawing. This attraction never went away. In short meditations, I sometimes enjoy envisioning a massive, strong, golden tree network, of which a society of people can climb and navigate. The trees have heart shaped doors on different levels, inside are cozy homes. I envision crystal fractal roofs inside the living trees, displaying rainbows of color. I can picture sitting on a tree limb, feeling the golden rays spiraling out of the tree, and I can put the people near me at the time, around the tree, benefiting from its healing energy, basking in a moment in time where there is only love, warmth, and abundance. This type of loving visual meditation is found in Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation. It is a simple, yet powerful tool to raise your internal energy and re-center to find a more loving calmness. No formal practice or study is necessary to simply imagine and meditate on your own personal loving symbols and landscapes. You can reference and draw upon these symbols when you might be otherwise flooded with darker thought-forms or realities.
12/25/2023: Love where you are at ♡♡♡ (the art there-of) Loving the present moment. Free to grow and breathe. Free to cultivate health. Free to enjoy musical vibrations flowing. Free to witness rainbows of colors in each moment. Free to infinitely chisel away at the crystal of your soul, to have a grounded base, free to relax into the energy flow. Free to be imperfectly unique. Free to love. Free to fail and free to succeed in the same moment. Holidays can be strong catalysts. They can thrust into our awareness things we need to work on, how lost/found we are. Relaxing into discomfort, feeling freedom within our selves, dancing wherever we can dance, in our mind in our thoughts in our body in our soul. Merry Soul Evolution.
12/16/23: Thinking of the strength, power and importance of faith. Through faith, we can pinpoint our direction to a singular purpose or desire, and then through strength of will, buoyed up through our faith, work towards that purpose with optimism and love. Through faith we can understand that we are not living for a future moment in time, but we are living in this moment in time, tapped into the energetic flow of the spiritual universe, through which we do our best to let that beautiful energy flow through us, guide us, help us and lead us on our most personally meaningful path.
What is faith? For some, they may dismiss faith as being a strictly religious practice, or that it means believing in something specific. I believe there are multiple definitions for faith, and we all have our own personal definition, there is no right or wrong definition, as the meaning of words, beyond what the dictionary tells us, are formed through our own very individual and personal experiences.
In 2016, when my spiritual life underwent a very abrupt change, I wrote 4 words in my phone notebook. “Faith, Patience, Trust, Gratitude”. These words would guide me through my current spiritual path which has involved many detours but no dead ends. Faith is the cornerstone. I will define my own personal definition of faith: it is an understanding that there is a current of energy which runs through me, you, and all beings. This energy is intelligent. This energy is protective, this energy is personalized for each individual being and soul. This energy contains a knowing, and is perhaps a part of an unconscious mind or, unconscious consciousness (in the human experience). The more I stay open, and aware, and the more I listen internally, and allow time/space to process my catalysts, the more this energy can help direct my life towards what we might call kismet, or destiny. This energy is tangible. Through faith, it is infinitely easier for me to choose love in each moment, instead of fear. Through faith I am allowed to center myself within, knowing all that is needed is within, always present.
There are layers to faith I feel that are undefinable, and I wish upon every human being the ability to cultivate their own personal faith, based in love.
12/9/2023: Love in Spirit & Love in Tangible. It can be difficult to make sense of catalysts at times, especially when you are actively engaging with catalysts which are forcefully difficult on the surface, physical level. When looking back at previous catalysts, struggles I have risen above, or simply seemed to endure for long periods, I can see clearly how they benefited me on a soul strength level- “If I can overcome that, I’m much stronger than I realized”… Yet! Often our catalysts in modern society, seem to be more offshoots of a vast macrocosm of social ill-health. We may be going about our business, perfectly healthy and content, when something fully outside of our control (often deeply negative) hits us and we are suddenly deep into suffering. It is very important, I believe, to realize it is at these deepest moments of suffering, when it is time for us to do the deepest work. For me I do not struggle with anger, it is more short lived bouts of frustration and self-doubt, frustration that I think I know how to live healthy and help others live and be healthy, yet I’m not fully encompassing that, right now in every moment… I like to be aware, and notice my self when these thoughts arise, identify them, acknowledge them, but never feed them or lean into them and have self-pity or believe it will be a lasting moment.
Energy is often given less importance than its due; by energy I mean our human forms contain an energy of which we get to direct via our own personal free will. By coming back to my center, which, in gratitude, is quite solid and self love is very real at this time - I can watch the momentary frustrations fade, and know that the difficulties I experience will all pass- all good, all bad, all passes! I can do my best to learn, grow and evolve in all ways through all times. I can be appreciative that I am not chained down by any process addiction, or even relationship… that I am able to go immerse myself in nature, that I have the ability to do so, that I have the connection WITH nature which allows me to feel energy rise up out of earth, good and bad - yin and yang - choosing love in each moment is not always easy, but once you see it is a choice, you can work towards the choosing. Staying open and loving allows me to be receptive to new ideas and experiences, which are integral to growing and evolving, and achieving deep mental/physical/spiritual health.
As another Christmas approaches, and I have been working on this site (thus recollecting through my camera albums) There is a lot for me to feel in these photos. While I was able to live in the most beautiful and healthy of surroundings, I had not made the choice to do my best to live conscious in the present moment, so I was often suffering.
Unconditional love is the primary building block to heal this beautiful earth realm and allow us to thrive in less suffering. Unconditional love towards the world begins with unconditional love towards our selves. Unconditional love allows us to make mistakes, but also allows us to heal from and stop making those mistakes by getting clear of the self perpetuating cycles where suffering breeds more suffering. Compassion, not judgement!
12/6/2023: Non-attached appreciation is a very helpful practice to stay in the present moment - and appreciate it! Flow state. Trusting in your Self beyond this physical self - holding that Faith - allowing your physical self to be open, guided, trusting, loving one and all - shadow work being loving the dark as well as the light - accepting - leading with compassion, for your self first off, and then all other selves…If it triggers you, examine it, allow it, let it go... Appreciate the catalysts, the challenges, work on what you are afraid of by leading with love in all ways… Use your own discernment to take what you like, and leave the rest.. this is me speaking to myself, I would never presume to know what is best for other selves! Free will is paramount, love and freedom and kindness and gratitude and faith. Without faith, what are you doing, how are you growing, what is your purpose? When you were a small child, did you not have faith? When did you lose your faith due to external stimuli? If you have faith, how much gratitude have you felt for that self empowerment today? Forget not that every moment is a choice between love & fear.
